What is behind the behaviour that feels it right or necessary to tear a child down. Where is it rooted? Be this our own child or another’s. In words or actions. Also If we are tearing another child down to raise our own up? What drives that? What inside of us drives that behaviour?
When we have been gifted the presence of a child/children in our world.
It is up to us their elders/guides/parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles/teachers to see bless and build upon their innocence and gifts. To fill them up with love.
We may see where they struggle in this world and if/when we do it’s an opportunity to choose to fill them with more love. To choose not to tear them down and instead build them up. Fill the cracks with gold and reminders that it’s ok to crack on occasion. To learn and grow from it.
Especially if the child/children are already struggling to see feel or value their own worth. Especially if they are feeling misunderstood and unsafe in this world. Especially if they are already asking to be better heard and understood. How can a child grow into the very best version of themselves if those of us who are gifted their presence fail to see beyond what triggers us into our own reactions?
We can be cheerleading all children whether they are ours or not onward and upwards by consciously choosing to see them in their best light. In love.
By choosing to bless them with our words. Always.
By choosing to acknowledge their gifts. Always.
By being examples in their presence by how we choose to speak in front of them. Always.
Imagine a world where from birth children were seen as they are. Every given moment of their lives as they grew and not just in that flurry of love that falls upon us as they are born and babies. If we always continued to see them as innocent and full of love as a creative loving playful joyful nurturing beings not with some agenda to manipulate or cause harm.
How embodied in love would they be? How deeply connected to the love that they are would they be? Imagine we knew each and every babe born that grew into a child to a teen to an adult was just doing what humans do which is seek to connect love and be present in our lives and have us connect love and be present in theirs.
Imagine we lived in a world where we could all learn how to discipline (guide) our children in the most compassionate loving nurturing ways and not in shameful hurtful aggressive ways.
Unlearning and unravelling together generations of pain by choosing a new way. Knowing it isn’t about blaming or shaming the generations that came before us more about moving through the blocks to love this pain caused and seeing it is also about acknowledging that we all have a choice right now.
Every day we are being gifted deeper levels of awareness daily. Let us use this and put it into action. Every day. In Every moment. Let us acknowledge we have a choice. It may not feel like it when our buttons are pushed to the max and we are tired overworked and overstretched yet we do. Always.
If we momentarily choose badly which we will know that we get to choose again in the next moment. With each passing moment, we do begin to choose wiser and more consciously than before. We grow to trust we can and will choose love more and more. for love does not dominate control or live in fear.
I don’t believe what has been modelled to the majority of us for many generations has been true discipline. Not in it’s truest meaning.
To discipline is to guide not cause harm. If we are using anger violence threats shaming manipulation to gain power over our children then we are creating more of the same that caused harm to begin with. We have mostly learned that discipline is dominance. Power over. Control. It has been mostly feared based. We must be willing to first admit this and see it for what it is so that we can move through it and past it.
I believe the generation of parents in today’s world have been gifted the momentous task of unravelling generations of trauma-based discipline to create new pathways of connection for deeper love to move through. So that the human beings rising up in our world namely our children are more connected to the love that is really inside of them outside of the pain bodies that have been the norm for humans, to take us out of the suffering we have become accustomed to.
To move us past the stories tied to martyrdom and victimization these generational cycles are binding us to. To Freedom.
In a nutshell, we are being gifted a get out clause. A way through a death and rebirth process that will gift our children so much more freedom than many have known for thousands of years. The end of a huge Karmic Cycle that has been rinsed out and repeated for so long its now time to go!
So we are as individuals through our lives our children and parenting journeys being provoked pushed and prodded woke up to deeply to unravel and address our own shadow. This is not easy for us. We are met with resistance, our own and from those outside of us that are still tied to the chains of pain that bind us to a past we don’t need to repeat.
It will take time. It will take Practice. Alongside lots of relearning. Constant rediscovering as we readjust into a more peace-filled flow of connection to co-create a world child can and will always be and feel safe in. I get daily glimpses of heaven on earth of the possibilities for mankind and of where my own inner work is.
What I do know is when one commits to fully loving themselves and begins to meet themselves with more compassion they are more able to meet children in this way too. It spills outwards into every part of our world and to the ways in which we relate to those around us.
I am far from perfect in my home with my children. I have to take time out sometimes daily (quite literally walk away and say I need some space now to prevent the one in me who rages from causing harm.) when I feel and know I am unable to meet my children in their more difficult moments.
I know the cruelty that lives in me alongside the love that lives in me. I am not naive enough to not know the predator energy alive in me that likes to dominate and control. I know the harshness of her tongue, the tension that arises in the body with her presence, I found it hard to accept that such cruelty could live and co-exist inside of me yet knew I have had to learn to accept and love her and the reasons it was present, to begin with, and invite her in to give her a seat within my heart and extend compassion towards this part of myself knowing my children do not need to carry the weight of her pain or frustrations.
Simply because I wanted to model something different for them. Not because I am letting them away with stuff. Only because I feel and see how it can be different. I choose to speak to them about behaviours when there is calm not chaos. In our own time. Together. In privacy. In safety. I believe by choosing not to shame them for feelings or expression in front of others. It builds trust. Connections and stronger bonds of safety within themselves for themselves.
It is mostly experimental for me as I grow as honestly I have no model as such it’s very intuitive and I haven’t a clue if it will make them happier more content adult human beings. That has yet to be revealed. Yet it feels important right now to show them whilst emotions and experiences can be heightened and impact us we all have a moment to choose our actions/reactions.
That emotions are ok. Feelings are part of life. that truthful Expression is so much more than concealment. That they are accepted loved and enough just as they are where ever they are.
Be it Sadness. Anger. Joy. Fear. Happiness. It is all ok.
Whatever is being felt in their bodies is all healthy expression for them in their given moment. It is all welcomed. It is all ok.
It is possible and I am hopeful that by doing this they will be well equipped to hold themselves and ask for what they need when they can’t hold themselves so strong as life throws curve balls in their direction to deal with. Which it envitably will.
In Love & Devotion
Genevieve Marie Rose